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TAWUG Disk No. 77 (SHK)
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GOLF.QUOTES
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AppleWorks Document
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1989-01-15
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9KB
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170 lines
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Golf Quotes
===========
9I don't say my golf game is bad; but if I grew tomatoes, ,
they'd come up sliced. Miller Barber,
<I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters. Bob
Hope, Comedian
;Water holes are sacrificial waters where you make a steady <
gift of your pride and high-priced balls. Tommy Bolt,
9My best score ever is 103, but I've only been playing 15 9
years. Alex Karras, Detroit Lions defensive lineman
>For most amateurs, the best wood in the bag is the pencil.
Chi Chi Rodriguez,
9There are two things not long for this world - dogs that =
chase cars and golfers who chip for pars. Lee Trevino,
;Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and 9
7you can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air. Jack
Benny, Comedian
:The only reason I played golf was so I could afford to go %
hunting or fishing. Sam Snead,
<Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch 8
course, the space between your ears. Bobby Jones,
Golf is a good walk spoiled. Mark Twain, Writer
<The only shots you can be dead sure of are those you've had
already. Byron Nelson,
:I shot a wild elephant in Africa 30 yards from me, and it :
8didn't hit the ground until it was right at my feet. I @
>wasn't a bit scared. But a 4 foot putt scares me to death.
Sam Snead,
<When I'm on a course and it starts to rain and lightning, I >
<hold up my one iron, 'cause I know even God can't hit a one
iron. Lee Trevino,
<Being a left-handed golfer is a big advantage. No one knows >
<enough about your swing to mess you up with advice. Bob
Charles
:" Hey, is this room out of bounds?" Alex Karras, Detroit 9
7Lions defensive lineman, to a startled employee, after >
<hitting a golf ball off the first tee through a large plate
glass window in the clubhouse.
9Through years of experience I have found that air offers ?
=less resistance than dirt. Jack Nicklaus, when asked why
he tees up his ball so high.
=You start to choke when you drive through the front gate. On @
>the first hole, you just want to make contact with the ball. #
Hale Irwin, PG, on the Masters
<What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find <
:in the flight of a good drive - the white ball sailing up 7
5into the blue sky, growing smaller and smaller, then ;
9suddenly reaching its apex, curving, falling and finally 9
7dropping to the turf to roll some more, just the way I !
planned it. Arnold Palmer,
;The sport isn't like any other where a player can take out 7
5all that is eating him on an opponent. In golf, it's 4
strictly you against your clubs. Bob Rosburg,
9Selecting a stroke is like selecting a wife. To each his %
own. Ben Hogan, PG, on putting
9Golf is the only sport I know of where a player pays for :
8every mistake. A man can muff a serve in tennis, miss a ?
=strike in baseball, or throw an incomplete pass in football, :
8and still have another chance to square himself. But in ;
golf, every swing counts against you. Lloyd Mangrum,
<I'm hitting the woods just great, but I'm having a terrible /
time getting out of them. Harry Toscano,
;I think most of the rules of golf stink. They were written :
8by the guys who can't even break a hundred. Chi Chi
Rodriguez,
<Golf is a compromise between what your ego wants you to do, <
:what experience tells you to do, and what your nerves let
you do. Bruce Crampton,
;Golf is not a game of great shots. It's a game of the most 8
6accurate misses. The people who win make the smallest
mistakes. Gene Littler,
The older I get, the better I use to be. Lee Trevino
;I can airmail the golf ball, but sometimes I don't put the <
:right address on it. Jim Dent, known for his long tee
shots
The mind messes up more shots than the body. Tommy Bolt,
=Anything I want it to be. For instance, this hole right here =
;is a par 47 and yesterday I birdied the sucker. Willie @
>Nelson, Singer, when asked what par is on a golf course he!
purchased near Austin, Texas
=The first one is called "How to Get the Most Distance Out of ;
9Your Shanks," and the other is, "How to Take the Correct =
;Stance On Your Fourth Putt."(& Lee Trevino, PG, on his
new books
8I play in the low 80's. If it's any hotter than that, I (
won't play. Joe E. Louis, comedian
=It is nothing new or original to say that golf is played one @
>stroke at a time. But it took me many strokes to realize it.
Bobby Jones,
You drive for show and putt for dough. Al Balding,
:You don't hit anything with your backswing. So don't rush
it. Doug Ford,
>Golf is a way of testing ourselves while enjoying ourselves.
Arnold Palmer,
>Golf is 90 percent inspiration and 10 percent perspiration.
Johnny Miller,
;It matters not the sacrifice which makes the duffer's wife =
;so sore; I am the captive of my slice, I am the servant of ,
my score. Grantland Rice, Sportswriter
=There are no points for style when it comes to putting. It's =
getting the ball to drop that counts. Brian Swarbrick,
9You can talk to a fade, but a hook won't listen. Lee
Trevino,
>If there is any larceny in a man, golf will bring it out.!
Paul Gallico, Sportswriter
8Golf is like a razor. You get just so sharp and then it 8
6begins to dull a little the more you use it. Doug
Sanders, PG on overpracticing
;Serenity is knowing that your worst shot is still going to %
be pretty good. Johnny Miller,
4If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's :
8recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. Bob Hope,
Comedian
8Golf - A young man's vice and an old man's penance.
Irvin Cobb, Humorist
;There is absolutely nothing humorous at the Masters. Here, 9
7small dogs do not bark and babies do not cry. Gary
Player,
<It's always hard to sleep when you've got a big early lead. =
;You just lay there and smile at the ceiling all night.
Dave Stockton,
;If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw ?
=it ahead of you, down the fairway, so you don't waste energy ,
going back to pick it up. Tommy Bolt,
5If you have to remind yourself to concentrate during >
<competition, you've got no chance to concentrate. Bobby
Nichols,
:In every tournament there are a few rounds of super golf; <
:without a doubt they are played subconsciously. Chick
Evans, Jr.,
8You can be the greatest iron player in the world or the =
;greatest putter, but if you can't get the ball in position >
<to use your greatness, you can't win. Ben Hogan, PG, on
the importance of drives
=When God wants to play through, you let him play through. 3
Lee Trevino, PG, after being struck by lightning
<Golf - A game in which one endeavors to control a ball with >
<implements ill adapted for the purpose. Woodrow Wilson, $
28th President, defining the sport
;If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork like they do a 4
golf club, they'd starve to death. Sam Snead,
:If you want to beat somebody on the golf course, just get
him mad. Dave Williams,
9The good player gets worried over the slightest mistake, ;
9whereas the poor player makes too many mistakes to worry #
over them. David Lloyd George
7Golf is an ideal diversion, but a ruinous disease. (
Bertie Charles Forbes, Magazine editor
;Ninteen holes of match play will teach you more about your ;
9foe than 19 years of dealing with him across a desk.
Grantland Rice, Sportswriter
<In golf, driving is a game of free swinging muscle control, =
;while putting is something like performing eye surgery and 7
using a bread knife for the scalpel. Tommy Bolt,
;One of the old pro's, when asked why he hardly ever took a 4
2practice swing before hitting his drives and long ?
=approaches, is reported to have said: "I don't want to waste &
it 'cause it might be the good one."
=The average expert player - if he's lucky - hits 6, 8, or 10 @
>real good shots in a round. The rest are real good misses.
Tommy Armour,
=Any game where a man 60 can beat a man 30 ain't no game. -
Burt Shotten, Major league baseball manager
;Golf: A game where the ball always lies poorly and players
well.
8Golf is a game where guts, stick-to-itiveness and blind 9
7devotion will always net you absolutely nothing but an
ulcer.